The Mauling News (Archive)
An irreverent look at the news (not) making headlines!
Match fixing allegations in SA rugby
Tonight Darren Maule makes his fight night debut at SMD Ballito, but Next week, Zuma and Juju go head to head in the EFF heavyweight-lightweight title of South Africa for R255million.
Eskom has a new CEO
It has been revealed why probes and rovers have been sent to mars with almost no interest in the next planet in our solar system. Who wants to be the first one to Uranus. Mauling News reports
Luis Suarez said he will never bite again
It has emerged that chuck Norris was responsible for the hole in the ozone layer, also he was the one who single handedly fixed it. Mauling News Reports
Rafael Nadal will miss the US Open
A Saudi prince while his motorcade was driving through France yesterday was robbed of $250 000 in a carjacking. The prince was shaken and vowed never to drive around with his small change ever again.
Chuck Norris was accidentally shot
Eskom has released a memo informing South Africans of what to do in the event of loadshedding... Mauling news reports
No Ebola virus in SA
It is a fact that Homosexual behavior has been found in over 1,500 different species on planet earth. Homophobia however, is found in only one. Who's evolved now? Mauling News reports
Experimental Ebola drugs in Kenya
We can be glad that the Proteas don't compete in the ashes cricket tournament if only because the hashtag on social media would be... Mauling News Reports
Snow is predicted this this weekend
Did you know - The youth league now wants disgraced ANC stalwart Pallo Jordan to receive an honorary doctorate. Mauling News reports on this issu
Caffeine is more addictive than marijuana
It's official: Grace Mugabe will enter Zimbabwean politics and did you know people generally read 25% slower on a computer screen compared to paper! Mauling News reports
Orlando Pirates fans are still sulking
It was announced that Pres Jacob Zuma will now investigate corruption... Yes and later Helen Zille will frown on... Revealed in today's Mauling News
Hawaii is preparing for first hurricane
Yesterday members of ECR were found swinging sticks and shouting unrecognizable words. To the observer it might have appeared as witchcraft, but the locals call it... All revealed in today's Mauling News
Students' black-face sparks outrage
Outrage poured out yesterday when a photo of two Pretoria girls with their faces painted black went viral. What's all the fuss, we do this all the time... Mauling News reports
Three things to do in the event of a quake
Even basic education minister, Angie Motshekga, had something something to say about the earthquake yesterday…
Zuma’s sex lies and spy tapes
Carl Pistorius now involved in a serious head on collition on the roads. These Pistorius boys either have the worst case of bad luck or the best case of bad Karma... Mauling news reports
Marvel's New Thor Is A Woman
All this fuss about a lady Thor and not a word about Superman being an illegal Alien.
Hlaudi Motsoeneng lied in his application
Just for you. The hole in a pencil sharpener that you stick a pencil into is called a "chuck." And who put the hole in every sharpener in the world?
Kanye West got booed off a stage
Did you know: The German government are considering using typewriters to beat the NSA surveillance and find out what the Former minister of police Nothing mthetwa has finally admitted
A New 'microchip contraceptive'
Breaking Mauling News: Eva Mendes is reportedly pregnant with Ryan Goslings baby.
Brazil's World Cup dreams destroyed
Breaking Mauling News: So you are telling me Germany beat Brazil in... Beach volleyball?
Swiss Mauling News Addition
The Breakfast team are broadcasting live from Switzerland – all things Swiss features in this week’s Mauling News.